I just don't know how I feel about having my weight on my blog. It's hard to see those numbers but they are real and facing that is sometimes so hard. In my mind I am a thin active person. Wow talk about mind games. I have to remember where I really am and face reality. Anytime I loose weight I think, "I'm thin now!" But then seeing that number in big letters and color reminds me I have a ways to go. Don't be discouraged just take it one day at a time.

Lost Today 204.2 woopeee!!!

Wahoo! This morning I got up and went for my walk. Wow this weather is amazing and beautiful, but way too dry. We are so far below normal for rainfall for September, it's a little frightening. I feel so blessed to walk in these foothills by the mountains. So great to be in a safe neighborhood where you feel like you could run to any house if you had any trouble. I wish everyone could live under these conditions. I love feeling the support from my family! My greatest cheerleader of course is my husband John who puts up with me when my day hasn't gone so well and my mood is also not so great! He is the one who puts up with the ups and downs. He is so steady and always there to support me in whatever I do. For girls camp he always packs up the trailer drives it down and unloads, makes sure we have our wood and any other little things that we need. He brings us home at the end and helps me get all of the gear distributed to everyone again. He puts up with making his own meals when I just don't feel like I can go in the kitchen or if I have no imagination for cooking, (most of the time, too bad I always have imagination for eating!!) Thanks John! I love you!!

Well today at the end of the day I ate more calories than I had planned. I planned for 1200, but ate around 1475. Yikes. How did they creep up? A bridal shower that's how. I ate a small bowl of ice cream with peaches and a dab of whipped cream and that blew my numbers. Well at least I know where I am because I tracked and that was successful. I drank most of my water, but I did not walk very far only a few blocks to and from the shower. Better than nothing, but definately improvement needed. I think tomorrow I will not eat as many calories early in the day but save a few more for night time. It seems to be my most challenging time.

Tonight I am really thankful for my family. My life would be so boring without them! Really I would just be bored silly. I am so thankful that my children all seem to love each other and want strive to be active in the church and serve each other and their fellow men.

Going to bed now because I am super tired. Of what I am not sure. By the by, the vegie fajita from Nutri System is kinda nasty. I think you just have to be starving to really appreciate it. G-night.

My Before Picture! September 27, 2010

Tuesday Morning

Well it is another beautiful day in the neighborhood and today I am thankful for a scripture in Mormon 9:21 which basically says if you have faith in Christ and ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted you. Now I know I shouldn't ask for trivial things but Moroni's whole point in this chapter is that Heavenly Father has not changed and left us alone to suffer or struggle on our own. But He is a God of miracles and we can ask for His help and He will always give it. So these past few months I have been asking for His help in overcoming my food addiction. I have not been disppointed. He has helped me, strengthened me and this knowledge that He is there makes all the difference! So the fight continues today. When I began this trek, at the encouragement of my sister Liz I weighed 224 pounds. I am now 208 and having a difficult time getting off of 208, but I will get there.

Yesterday was a good day. I stayed on my plan...mostly, which is a mixture of tracking, (writing down everything, which by the way I did not do, but I did it in my head and so I will write it down now) Nutri Systems, Usana shakes and bars, and lots of vegies, and fruits. So for breakfast I had a Usana Shake, (I'm not a distributor so I'm not trying to sell you anything) I love these shakes (and I have tried a lot) because they have 8 grams of fiber and are low glycemic, not to mention tasty and my sister supplies me with them soo....! So the shake - and for lunch I had a nutri system bowl of bean soup with my own stir fryed (in pam) zuccinni because I have 8 or 9 very large zucinni from our garden on the counter and they need to be eaten! I had a few swigs (dangerous) of fat free milk. Yes right from the carton! It is my own. In the afternoon I had a small apple and then remembered I needed to drink and so began my water regimen which means lots of stops at the WC (water closet, potty, latrine whatever.) I had a Usana protein bar at about 4 and then for dinner at 6:30 I had nutrisytem mexican goolash in a tortilla. It was chewy... but mostly tasty. I again had some zuccini, milk and a half of a peach. I had been trying to get out the door to excersize all morning but my husband had lots of things he needed me to do (seemed like a good excuse) but mostly it was because I wanted to ride my bike but didn't want to go down the hill and then have to ride it back up again so I procrastinated until finally I had to take Morgan to soccer, at which time I quickly threw my bike in the Yukon and rode while he practiced. The reason being, it is flat where he practices (by the lake) and I will do more riding than walking and pushing. Wow the little mind games that I go through before the walking, jogging or biking every happens.

When John and I got home from a walk in the evening, Ben and Dinesh had made a beautiful salmon dinner with a mayo sauce,tomatos, and onions on the salmon. It was beautiful, with salad, rice and of all things artichoke hearts marinated in olive oil. I didn't want to be a party pooper and not eat with the family so I sat down and had a very small piece of salmon. I scraped off the sauce, ate the onion and tomato and the salmon. Delicious but probably I shouldn't have. I need to figure out the family schedule better, and try to time my meals to coincide with family meals. Ben and Dinesh and their 4 children are living with us and Dinesh is a great cook! Family meal time is important so I probably need to plan to have my meal with the fam!

The scale: I'm not gonna let this ruin my day but honestly I got on this morning and it said 207.1, Yesterday it was 208.0 so I was so happy. Then I thought well, I have gum in my mouth so I had better take it out. It probably weighs something (I'm not kidding, hey it was early) So I weighed again and it was 208.2. OOOOOHHHHH!! I weighed again and yup 208.2. Wow how could this happen? Well needless to say I am going to go on a walk and then come back and weigh and hopefully there will be a loss! I know we cannot live or die by the scale but this is the measurement that shows weight loss and this is my goal. Breathe, breathe!

I am quite sure I am going to need to pray all day today. I know this sounds trivial but my mood changes so much when I succeed as to when I fail and so I must keep a positive outlook. Faith that I can be helped in all facets of my life, by my Heavenly Father is a great motivator. It is THE motivator. I am so thankful for the scriptures! The very word of a God. How blessed I am to have them. To know that my small and seemingly insignificant life is very significant and important to God is amazing and inspiring to me. That he cares about the sparrows and the lilies of the field, lets me know HE cares about me.

Thanks for all the positive comments! Who knew that anyone looked at my blog. I love you all for caring and appreciate your positive feed back. Don't hesitate to give ideas or suggestions, I want to be teachable. I have tried downloading my picture off my phone but I can't figure it out so when I find my camera a before picture will emerge! And don't worry I won't wear a sports bra. I tried that look on and oh! it was quite indecent. I wouldn't want you to be afraid to go to my blog again so I will be dressed in work out clothes for older larger Mormons=)!!

My goal for today is to write everything down and drink my water throughout the day so that I don't have to guzzle 5 glasses tonight! Have a great Tuesday! Get out and MOVE!

The Biggest Looser Contest with Myself!!

Well I have just decided that I need to do more journaling on my blog. I was inspired by a friend of mine who has stage four lung cancer (never smoked a day in her life) and is going through all kinds of cancer treatments. She has a beautiful blog. It is called postiveoutlook. There was just a Miles for Melanie 5K this morning so that many could help support her treatment and let her know how much the community cares. Her blog of thanks, prayer, and beautiful thoughts made me feel so wonderful and blessed that I thought I would try to do the same in my blog. It's great to put my pictures up of my loved ones and our activities, but I want to remember more spiritual experiences and count my blessings as I go so that I won't forget how blessed I am and how much I have to be thankful for. So many are suffering different hardships and adversity but doing it in a very gracious and humble way. My heart goes out to so many who struggle and suffer quietly. I am a complainer and any little injury or inconvenience gets me down. I need to stop this and be stronger in my resolve to live my life well and make the best of what comes my way. Right now my sister Liz's kidney is dieing. Well I would say it is almost pretty much dead and she is suffering with high blood pressure and lots of nasty medicine. She is so tired everyday and she is waiting patiently for me to loose enough weight so that we can schedule the transplant surgery. So I am going to put my success and failure on my blog so that I can be accountable to someone. I know that no one really reads this so it will probably just be me. Anywho, I am goint to post a before picture and my weight everyday. It will be hard because I weigh a ton and don't look to good in a sports bra and shorts. (the biggest looser outfit!!) But the truth should be told. I will need positive feed back so if anyone is out there then please feel free to comment, give advice, encouragement, or humor if I am crying! Here goes